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“Yes, you go, Granny. We’ll finish clearing up. We’ll ring to find out” said Fiona.“I’ll head on up the coast” I said, realising she might be nervous about leaving me with them.“Would you mind staying?” she said. “You’re such a sensible, practical chap. They might need help” Would I mind? Would I mind staying in a warm house with four pretty girls instead of walking half the night to a hostel and sharing a large room with a load of flatulent, beardy-weirdies?“Of course. They’ll ring in the morning. I’m sure he’ll be okay”The ambulance clattered away. Why was its siren on? Single track road, no traffic and still it was nee-na, nee-nah. You could hear it for hours, it seemed, as it sped (at twenty miles an hour initially) away.We worked until 2am cleaning the mess. We wanted it spotless for when they came home. Erica was collapsed, asleep on the sofa, exhausted. That was meant to be my bed. Fiona led me upstairs. “No funny stuff mister!” she said. I smiled and yawned and nearly. She was rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her hair wasastray. When she saw me she brightened."Hi," she said cheerily, "what brings you here?" Pausing then, "as if Ididn't know." It was as if the previous day hadn't happened. It was alllets let bygones be bygones. I was having none of it. Whether it was myfault or not I had vowed that it would be strictly business today. Wellbusiness until I was released and then I would be rushing home tofulfill a new fantasy I had constructed for my penis."Lets just get me unlocked, okay."She reached into her cleavage. But there was no chain and no key there."Oh, it's not there. Why don't you reach your hand down there and doublecheck?" I was not amused. I called her bluff and extended my hand to herneckline. She slapped it away. "No, no, you naughty boy." Just get the key," I demanded with an ever so slightly stronger tone."It's not here. I left it at the stables." Liar," I spit out."Don't be rude. Oh wait maybe it is here. But you now must make up.
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